So that's what a tribe is. You had a support system, you weren't an atomized husband, wife, children in some suburbia with a little white picket fence. That's wrecked America in the West.
If we do not have tribes, once again, these, the women who are now 33% psychopathic in the West, how will you ever heal that? Is it ever gonna be healed? You can't heal that with more work and more money and more careers. It's only gonna get worse. You can only heal that with relationships and turning that spine blue.
You see what I'm saying? Then the woman is at peace. She's chill. When husband comes back, her spine is blue.
She'd been hanging out with grandma, she'd been hanging out with auntie, she'd been hanging out with sister, she'd been hanging out with niece and she helped the niece out, niece had a problem with the cousin, blah, blah. She helped work that out. She feels great.
She's a hero today. Husband come back, she said, hey, honey, how's your been? My day's been great. Her spine is blue.
So when you come home, you got peace. You don't have a lonely, atomized, isolated woman with no community and no other spines to interact with and just nervous and oh my God, nobody here. Everybody's against us and oh, what if we don't have enough money for this? And what if the toaster blows up and blah, blah, blah? Oh my gosh.
Then when you come home to that, you're gonna be, it's wartime again, right? And so the man will be exhausted, the woman will be exhausted, you'll fight that fight and the children who have to grow up in that atomized environment, they're gonna be so traumatized by the constant fighting, the bickering, the divorce. They're gonna be so wrecked and isn't that what has happened to the West? This post-industrial revolution family model is a total lie. Do not believe it's not biblical nor has it ever been the case in human history.
You must have a tribe and support people, you must. You cannot do this alone. No matter what the prepper magazine tells you, you can't do it alone.
Especially if you wanna live with a woman, man. Y'all wanna live alone, go ahead. Be Mr. Hermit on the mountain, maybe you can do it alone then.
But if you want a woman in your life, I did not have any. She needs about 30 other spires to do. So you better have community.
You better have community. That's why it's so good. That's why the church community is like that.
It's like that pre-industrial system that God has preserved. Even though we're kind of atomized and we're all from different, but still, we're one kind of family. We all know culture of the people, even if we're malicious, why? It's love God, love your neighbor and we wanna celebrate one another.
When you have victory in marriage, that's a victory for God's kingdom. I'm not jealous of that, I want that. Amen, see that? We don't wanna play, that girl got the better man, blah, blah, blah.
No, no, when that couple is happy, that's a victory for all of us. You see what I'm saying? It's about being on the same team. And so when the nervousness and your wife need to connect, with other nervous personality spying, and remember, nervous personality is not a bad thing.
Just like avoidant doesn't mean bad. Nervous personality means in a good way, you're extremely sensitive to other people. For example, that's why children don't die because women can be extremely sensitive to like, oh man, that child is coming down with something.
That child is smell weird. That foul foot is funky. The man doesn’t even understand, you can't have half-leg gangrene, you don't know.
He says, just cut it off, baby. Betsy, cut it off. Bring the double-head axe.
But in a good way, the nervous personality is very important because you pick up stuff so quick. So that's good, that's really good. But the bad is if you're nitpicking, you're picking up all what your husband do wrong and you're nitpicking everything.
Then it's a problem, right? Then it becomes a problem. Or when your children get older, right? When your boys get older, you actually got to treat them more like men. So, if you're successful with your husband, you know, behaving like an executive, guess what, when you deal with your boys, oh man, they're gonna listen to you.
The queen, when she dealt with her boys, you know, and I would coach her with it, just how men think and stuff like that, she would prepare PowerPoint presentations for our boys. How crazy is that? Not all the kids, but sometimes, like she prepared PowerPoint presentations for the 15-minute talk. What kind of mom in this world does that? You know how respected those boys felt? To this day, they're all married, we got now 11 grandchildren.
They respect mommy, they thank her to this day. Thank you for doing that for us. You know what I'm saying? Grandma put the work in, folks.
Grandma put that work in. Right, so she would think what I'm gonna do with the child, don't get angry, don't get emotional, don't get like, that's my baby, like you got to do this, ah, I wanna pour it, ah, why don't you, oh Lord. Like the conversation with the boys, they come in and the mom should be off, like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, honey, I'm sorry.
Come on, hurry up, say what you got to say. You see, that's how the boy feel. Doesn't have no effect.
Don't play guilt, don't play weaponize the crime. It's very bad, very bad, childish tactic. Don't do that.
If you do that to the males in life, you will push them away. They cannot trust you. See, for the women, that's showing you're empathetic, that's showing you are serious.
You deeply concern them; you deeply care for them. That's why it's just feeling you with so much emotion. It's a proof of how much you love them.
To a woman, yes. Not to a man. To a man, it's like, after you do that for five years, it's like, hurry up.
It doesn’t work no more. So, we don't wanna behave that way. We wanna behave, especially problem solving, we wanna behave professional.
The more professional we can do it, then we can, when our boys grow up, we can work very professionally with them. The more we understand oxytocin, bonding with our wife, we can bond way better with our daughters. Mm-hmm.
Right? Because with the girls, you can talk two, three hours, four hours, five hours, six hours. And they feel so loved. And you're talking until three, four in the dang morning.
Hold that for the day of the guy. You do that to the boy, he's gonna hold that grudge against you. You sit there about six hours, you crazy woman.
You see what I'm saying? Because the spine is different. It's the anxious personality and the avoidant personality is different. They're not bad, they're different.
So, we understand that system. Then we know where we can focus. We know where to focus, okay? So just like we go, let's not focus on don't mean, blessed families, we got to focus on the vassal and oxy.
If you're the woman that wanna take initiative, focus on the vassal. Focus on activities you can do with your husband. Focus on supporting him in fixing the air con, whatever.
These things, go on bike rides with him, thank him. He's all vassal person. Problem solved together.
Problem solved like an executive. You're not the CEO, but you're the VP of operations so act like the VP, you know what I'm saying? He wants your input if you're good. If you can give him constructive, non-emotional, non-confrontational, non-judgmental info, hey, he wants his side of operations to work well at his home.
He doesn’t want it to blow up, right? So he actually wants that feedback. But if you do it, we never talk, why don't you ever? Now he can't hear that. Now it's no longer a meeting.
It's a dumping session, right? You're bringing in the flaming dumpster and pouring it on his head. What did I do? All I do is work and slave away to work for you. I don't deserve the dumpster, dump fire, right? So that's very important, very important.
And the more high level we become at that, then we deal better with the sons. And on the other side, if the husband wants to participate in that and he is at that level of maturity where he says, okay, I'm gonna participate in building our marriage back. All right, put the investment into the oxy.
That's the quickest way to get your woman feeling you love her. How do you do that? 15 to 20 minutes, 15, here's some numbers, right? 15 to 20 minutes of mm, oh yeah, how'd that make you feel? Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, I never thought about that.
Well, here, have some tea. Every day. See, the women need it every day.
There's a difference for men. Women need a daily, daily connection, okay? So, if you, for your future, this is the woman that if you do this well, you're gonna live 10 years more longer, you're gonna have less diabetes, you're gonna have less cancer, you're gonna have less inflammatory disease and cardiac arrest, you're gonna have less chronic pain, you're gonna have less inflammation in your bones. You're gonna have a woman that stands up for you because on average, you're gonna die earlier than her, so she's gonna be the sole remnant of your legacy to talk to your children about.
You're gonna have a woman that continues your legacy to the next generation, not biatches and complains about you and how bad you were. Would all that plus better sex, better relationship, more friendship, more hormones, more love, more feelings of trust, all that, less disease, blah, blah, blah, would that be worth 15 to 20 minutes of spending time having tea and just listening, no problem solving, just active listening, let her process her emotions. If you ask any sane man if that would be worth it, nine out of 10, I can't say 10 out of 10 because there's some weirdos, but nine out of 10 would say, okay, all right, better sex, better relationship, peace at home, less disease, better quality of life, she's gonna protect my legacy when I die, all right, 15 minutes, a date once a week with her, one day with our children once a week, all right, I can do it, I can invest that.
I can't do 10 hours a day, I'm working 15 hours, I can't do 10 hours, I got to sleep, but I can do 15, you see what I'm saying?
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