Absolute Sex Relationship

Absolute Sex Relationship

29 gen 2026

How crazy is that? And then if you're having the high Vaso, high Oxy, and you're having the absolute sex as husband and wife, you're having a great sex life. We're going to get into that a little more. We want to hear more about that. Don't raise your hand. Now you can raise it. Okay, how to have the next level sex life, not just the animal sex that the pre-sex dopa, dopa addicts do.

You're talking about the way God and Adam and Eve have their sexual unbelievable bonding. But you create the prolactin, which is the sense ultimate satisfaction. So, as you can see, when you're training in the Vaso, heaven treasure God money, and Oxy, heaven treasure God money that the insects cannot bite, they cannot chew, and the thief cannot steal. 

So, with the Oxy and Vaso, you're going to make more HGH (Human Growth Hormone) You're going to make the GABA (Gamma-Amino Butyric Acid). You're going to make the prolactin. You're going to make the serotonin. This is the difference between an absolute sex marriage of husband and wife, beautiful sexual relationship of husband and wife in marriage, and the outside world free sex or dopamine. Get a new whore, get bored of her for six months, get a new whore. That's dopamine sex. Porno sex. Dopamine addiction. You see what I'm saying? This is like animal sex. 

When we make love with a husband or wife, we want to have the incredible bonding. So, we want to produce the Oxy. We want to produce Vaso. We want to produce dopamine. Dopamine will be produced through the orgasm. So, it will be produced. That's good on top of everything, right? Not alone. Bad. Danger. Alone. It's like a cherry on top. Does a cherry on top make the Sunday tea taste better? I guess so. I was never into that. But anyways, whatever. OK?

That's why with the young couples, too, when they're preparing for blessing. Then the blessed family's absolute sex training should not just be like, “Oh, just have sex, clean up, and then bye-bye.” It should be ten minutes of bonding, like Adam and Eve in the garden. A ten-minute bonding; holding, kissing, touching, right? All this kind of things, avoiding the sexual organ. Then the man also will build up energy, etc.

Then what is this doing? This is producing the oxytocin, gazing into the eyes, right? This kind of thing is like what? This is heavenly bonding. So, what's happening in the bodies? In the spines, the oxytocin’s being built. You should do ten minutes of bonding first. You see what I'm saying? How come when we talk about sex, all you Western folks go nuts and crazy, getting all quiet suddenly. Everybody listening with their ears this big, like an elephant, and you all go quiet, like you're not even breathing. Give me a break. Give me a break.

So that 10 minutes of oxytocin bonding, such as gazing, touching, touching your wife's shoulder, her booty, her legs, everything. Bonding, bonding, natural, like God made in the Garden of Eden. Can I get amen, couples? Come on! Y 'all are not free sex people. Y 'all are married, you understand? Come on! All of you are from Catholicism, or something like that. Okay. Okay. You understand?

So, the bonding is very important, bonding. This is the bonding of the spirit. That is why in the Bible it is written that when you fornicate, your souls are tied. Your soul is tied to the spirit of the other person. Even with a prostitute, your soul has been tied to her; the spirits have bonded. You don't want to do that with the whores. You can't do it with Only Fans or porno. You want to do it with your wife or your husband. Bond. Souls bond. That's the gazing and touching; that's the oxytocin building. Right? You do this about 10 minutes. Then you wives should remember as men get older, and a lot of men, even in their 20s now, have ED, erectile dysfunction. It's terrible, so ridiculous.

Never in the history of humanity do young men have that kind of problem. It's because they're overloaded on twenty years of porn by the time they're thirty years old. Because now, the average age of porn watching is seven years old, folks. Seven, seven! So, by the time the kid is ready for marriage at eighteen years old, he's already addicted, watching pornos, hardcore. And you know, homosexual sex too, is in the algorithm to push to your children. So, he's been hardcore ten, eleven years plus addicted to porn at eighteen when he's trying to get married. Do you see how that's a problem? He's addicted to basically new porn, new girl, new girl, masturbating constantly, constantly. And basically, his body is getting accustomed to that. Then they have ED (Erectile Dysfunction). It's a real issue. That's not how a man should be.

But as you get older as a man, you get a little slower, right? You can't go three, four, five, six, seven, eight times in a day like you did when you were young. Right? So, you get a little slower. But that's why it's important. A lot of the older women that we have counseled, they didn't realize, but they were giving their man undue pressure. For example, one sister was like, “When he cannot rise to the occasion, I get stressed.” And then she's saying like, “Oh, what's wrong with you? What's wrong?” Then the guy's like, “Oh, forget it. I'm 60 years old” 

Don’t shame your man like that. Come on. Be understanding. Y 'all like being nice to your girlfriend. Be nice to him. Keep trying. Keep trying. Bond. Bond. That's why the oxytocin bonding is very important for the man in his older age, too. It gives time to not be like, “Hurry up, hurry up. I must be getting fat and ugly. When we were in our 20s, you used to rise to the occasion so quick, but it's maybe because I've become fat.” We hear a lot of women saying this stuff, too.

They try to guilt shame him, but then what happens? When they have the absolute sex as a married couple which should be bonding time, he's getting stressed. He should be looking forward to it, but he's getting stressed. These are the stuff that men don't want to say.

Pastor shouldn't be talking about this today. It's all inside, but nobody says it for us. Okay, you understand? You’ve got to be nice. Be nice. None of that judgment, none of that, “Oh, I must have gotten fat, it's my fault, honey, I'm sorry.” No, you don't want to hear that. You know what I'm saying? You just need a little more time. And when you have the bonding, then the wonderful consummation of the husband and wife in sexual union and love that God made. That's even more binary, so that's going to release the dopamine. You're going to get a dopamine from that. Afterwards, you're going to get the prolactin.

Bonding with God after bonding with each other

And then after sex you hug each other five minutes more, breathing together, thanking God. Now see, it's different from the beginning ten minutes. In the beginning, you're touching, you're bonding with each other; afterwards, you're bonding with God. You're saying, while hugging and bonding, “Thank You God, thank You Father, thank You Jesus, thank You Holy Spirit”.

Now, that's producing what? Vasopressin, because you're accomplishing the goal of praise together, right after you got the amazing hormone God money dump in your body; the Oxytocin, the dopamine, the prolactin, the HGH, the Gamma-Amino Butyric Acid, all that good stuff. And on top of that, now you're getting the Vasopressin there too. You understand? So now it becomes a hormonal festival. God's hormones. Festival, festival. Celebration, and not some wacky new age weird way. No! Bonding as husband and wife, giving glory to God, and producing actual material stuff, hormones that God gives you in the spine.

We saw how just giving the shot to the mice immediately changes its behavior. Now compare this type of bonding, absolute true love spinal bonding, husband and wife sex, with dopamine porno addictive sex. There's no comparison. It's like animals compared to heaven. You understand?

Now, we do surveys where we ask the sisters, “Would you prefer this type of sexual experience with your husband, or would you prefer just quickie, bang, clean up, bye -bye? Which one?” 

Maybe 9.5 out of 10, the majority of all the women say, “Of course I want this type”. They just never knew this kind of world existed. So, if you're dopa addicted to sex and porn, like, “Oh, y 'all can't understand this world.” It's like, “what? That can even exist?” You didn't even know. They can't even believe it. That's why the training of the true love hormone, this is God's system, God's beautiful complex molecules, hormones, chemistry, unbelievable. This is what He made. And if you understand the spine, it starts unlocking your life, your relationships, especially your intimate life with your spouse. That becomes heaven's playground. hormonal festival.

And guess what? Even you get older because you're bonding not by dopamine, you're bonding by the deep, long-lasting hormones. You see what I'm saying? The quality of your sex life also improves because up to now you've just been trying to survive with dopamine sex, trying to de-stress with just a dopamine sex, in a sense. It's not even a comparative planet. It's a whole different planet. You see what I'm saying, folks? That's what Father's talking about when we talk about absolute sex. That is the Garden of Eden where Adam and Eve should have married and not fall with Lucifer. That's the beautiful bonding and amazing.

Now, if you're bonded in this beautiful way with your husband, and you're producing that much unbelievable hormone with him, and he's producing that with you, do you think that would benefit your children just a little bit? Of course! Because parents are happy. They’ve got the serotonin. They're happy. They're bonded. They always want to touch and bond. And the children see that heat. They see that energy. They feel that. They want that in their marriage.

You give them hope for what? Blessing of marriage, huh? Why? Because you're doing it successfully. You're walking the path. You're making the God money. You're not just making the earthly money, which what? The insects can chew and the thieves can steal. You're making the God money. Nobody can steal it. This lasts forever. 

And this God money, the insects cannot eat it. If that is possible, how many people would want to have that in their marriage? Of course. If it is possible, right? I know y 'all got to take it by faith right now, but it is possible. Because of what? Because God gave every one of us those hormones. We’ve got them. We’ve got them. You don't need any Fentanyl and all this craziness. All these people are compensating with addiction and hit with the chemical substances, while God gave you that inside.

But you can't do it by yourself. You can only do this with your spouse. And it's meant for marriage, right? It's meant for us to do this in the long-term, eternal bond of marriage. Where these fruits, these treasures, heaven treasure money, will last forever. This is money that does not rot and can't be stolen. How many of y 'all at home going to try this? Okay, okay. All right, okay. Hey, we want y 'all to be successful, amen. We want God's people to be thriving in their married life, amen.

In the West, you can't talk about this stuff. That's the problem. Satan is talking to your kids about the bad way. We should be learning this God science up in the Holy House, amen. This was really kind of a missing piece. If we understand the hormonal realm, the neuroscience, and the spine, everything will start making sense. Why the couples fight, why the husband is fighting the woman, why the woman is speaking in a wrong way with the man. You know, it really starts making sense

Higher Level of Bonding

Okay, so we do have marriages to go to. Hey, what a great lecture for the marriage of these couples today, huh? They're not only going to become practitioner, trainer, training. But think about it, before you're married and you know this kind of God science already, then you can really look forward to your intimate life as well. It's completely different from the satanic world. It's a whole other level of bonding. So, every time you are intimate with your husband or wife, then you are actually building the hormones, building the marriage. And it's only getting stronger. So, we don't want to mess that up because it's like investing; it's like investing money, right? Investing. 

We don't want to mess that up by blowing up, getting angry, right? That's why we do training on how to control your breathing. That's why the young people do two hours of True Love Spinal Cord Training. Two hours every day in China, we're doing that kind of training with young people. Two hours of training. Breathing in, and saying, “Thank You, God.” Controlling your breath, what are you doing? You're controlling your breath, but what is that really doing? Controlling your spine. Controlling your spine. You're learning how to work with your nervous system and your spine. Staying calm when you get stressed and the cortisol start coming.

“Thank You, Father.” (breathing). Ooh, cortisol's coming. “Thank You, Jesus.” (breathing). You're learning how to calm down and turn to blue, right? Because when you're problem-solving as husband and wife together, your spines should be what color? Blue. That's the best. If they're blue, that's the best. If they're red, we want to turn them to a little purple. We want to move towards blue. And we certainly don't want to explode, right? I know it feels great when you explode sometimes. Some of these Korean women, man, they got to explode. “I just have to do this.” No, you don't. You're not an animal. You don't have to do that. You can learn how to control your emotion. What about having dominion over your mind and body.

Weighing rewards versus risk

Because guess what? If you explode like that, you know what that does to your husband? What that does to your husband; it creates unpredictability. So, this is a problem. This is a problem that a lot of women do not understand about avoidant men. Men have to be avoidant to perform and make money for you and go out and kill lions. He has to be like that. We have to crush emotions to go to work and conquer. However, a lot of people think avoidant males, that they live in fear. There's a lot of stuff on the internet that says avoidant males actually fear personality or they're scared of losing or scared, this kind of thing. No, avoidant males are not centered on fear. Avoidant males are weighing reward versus risk. That's what they're doing.

So avoidant males measure, they measure reward versus risk. You must understand this. They're not scared. The reason why they will not do something is that they are measuring the risk, and if it is too high, with too many unknown, unpredictable factors, they will not take that risk. So, if you behave unpredictably and emotionally and burst out and explode, you are becoming a what? Risk!!!!! Do you understand? Does that make sense, ladies?

That's why you must never explode emotionally. You must train your true love spinal thank You God prayer and meditation. You must train. If you explode, you will create an unpredictable environment where he doesn't know when he's going to set you off. Then he's going to feel that this environment is risky and will not invest there. That's what you have to understand about the avoidant male. They are not scared. They're actually very brave. When they feel the reward is going to be big, they can be super brave, you understand? They can fight the whole freaking 300 Sparta. They can do more than the sister. You can never imagine that level of bravery, you understand? They can be so brave, but they have to see this reward is going to be worth it.

For example, “I'm going to die to fight my honor,” right? They have to feel that's a greater reward. If they're not, it doesn't mean they're scary cats. A lot of these crazy feminist psychologists try to say, “Ah, the males are avoiding, the males are living fear-based personality.” Bull! Crappola. Is that an Italian dish? (Laughter.) Total bull. Avoiding males are not fearful people. They're very brave people, very brave. 

If the male doesn’t want to work, or they're de-motivated, that's a different thing. But just generally about the avoidant male, you have to understand, he's not a fear-based person. He's just measuring risk versus reward. That's why we want to keep the environment around him calm, and peaceful; be predictable. If he brings a problem to you, he knows you're not going to explode. If you keep exploding, you're going to turn his spine on and say, “Oh, this girl's a risk, risk, risk, risk, risk.” That's why emotional control is so important.

Now, what the queen's talking about, if the man is demotivated, and if he doesn't want to work, you know what? That's a defeated man, right? That's a man that's been so broken down by his mom or whatever the family situation, and his wife probably. He's been belittled, chewed up, spit out, everything in between. That man is so defeated, he doesn't even want to try. He would answer you like “You do it so well, then you do it” He would tell that wife, “F... you, I'm not going to even try. You're going to be this nervous all the time? You do it”. You see what I'm saying? That man has been disrespected endlessly. Every time he tries, he's being S -H -I -T-T-E-D on. He's being poo-pooed every time he tries. So, we don't want to do that either.

We want to be able to motivate our husband, encourage and thanking him. Thanking goes a long way. Western women never want to thank their husband. What is this ridiculous arrogance? What is this? Where did you learn this behavior? It's psychotic. It's insanity. Thank him frequently. You're going to get a lot more benefits from it, trust me. It's good for you. “You know, I really appreciate you. You're going out and warring for a family, and I really appreciate it. We really do appreciate your hard work. Let me clean up your boots. Go ahead. Take a shower.”

Oh, my God. Why is that so impossible in the West? What has made these people so arrogant? You can't do that for somebody you love? You do it for your dang babies.

How come you can't do it for your man who's paying for your babies and trying to care for you? Come on. It's ridiculous. Ego, ego. Think about it, it's crazy. That's why in the west the marriage is falling apart. There's no sacrifice. Sacrifice, hey, sacrificing for one another can be fun. Who says sacrifice is always bad? Who made that rule up? The Bible never said sacrifice is always bad. Hey, we sacrifice, and we have fun doing it. Just thank us once in a while, dang on it. We can sacrifice for you; we can have fun doing it too. Just that, you know what I'm saying?

The habit of thanking. That's why during the weekly training, and dates, we share the three things of thankfulness. The wife shares, “I am grateful for you as my husband. Number one: I am grateful for you as my husband…” This habit of saying words of gratitude in our marriage is critical. And then the husband gives to the wife, and then he prays over her. And then you have a wonderful, cute little meal, and have your dessert, and have your tiramisu, and have your cappuccino. We're not the Mormons. You can have cappuccino and green tea if you want, matcha latte. Y 'all are getting hungry. Now when I start to talk about food, everybody starts waking up; everybody starts getting hungry. You see what I'm saying, folks?

So, remember, your husband is not a fear-based man like these crazy stupid feminist psychologists say. That is total baloney. He's a brave man; he is just weighing risk versus reward. Risk versus reward. So, don't be in the risk category. You see what I'm saying? Don't put yourself in the risk category.

Then all his bravery, that masculine energy, that protective energy would get activated to protect you. “Honey, I’ve got to put the freaking cameras everywhere. I’ve got to have a steel fence with electrocution; you know, I’ve got to protect this woman.” All that healthy, protective energy starts pouring out. Why? Because you're not in the risk category. You're in the reward category. He wants to keep you. Are you with me? 

How come this kind of training is not being taught at church, huh? This is a very important training. That's a real kingdom building, right? And even in the chemical. They're actually building the kingdom money. And this is real. So, we want to understand that kind of thing; that a man is not fear-based. He's risk-reward-based. That's why it's very important to use numbers with him. Then he can understand, “Okay, how can I weigh the risk versus the reward?” Don't speak in generalities. Don’t lament saying: “You never want to talk.” He would respond, “I just talked to you five minutes ago about our child.”

“That's not what I meant.” You might say, “Okay, okay. You spoke in Chinese.” You see what I'm saying? You spoke in Chinese. You said, never. Use that word, that's Chinese. Use that word. Don't say, WE NEVER! Oh my gosh! Come on. How about putting it like this: “If we meet once a week you can tell me on a scale of one to ten, how my effort has been during the week. Would you give me a six, a seven? And then how can I do better next week to raise that up a little?” There are numbers now. Instead of saying, “You never want to speak, never want to share, never.” Satan is there going, “Yeah, yeah, good, good.” Satan loves a NEVER word. That's the n-word, that's the n-word. Satan loves that word. Don’t say that. That's an exaggeration.

That's why, with a husband, you always want to remind them that you want to be the best wife for them. You really want them to succeed, and you're really there to be their helpmate. That's why God put you there, right? And you want to be able to support them as their queen. Then numbers, numbers, numbers. Don’t speak like Chinese which is foreign to them. You should use numbers saying, “Honey, I need fifteen minutes of your time not for you to solve any problems but just I need to process my feelings with the kids today. I Just need to share with you for about fifteen minutes. Would that be okay?” And have some tea together.

Link to the Video

Lettera di Shin Joon Moon a Candace Owens

Questa newsletter è in qualche modo diversa dalle precedenti in quanto tratta di un feroce attacco al Vero Padre Sun Myung Moon e ai suoi sforzi per difendere la libertà da parte di una nota podcaster di nome Candace Owens, che sembra aver abbracciato la narrativa di sinistra secondo cui combattere il comunismo in America Centrale negli anni '80 fosse un male.

Nella sua trasmissione di venerdì scorso, 9 gennaio, la podcaster Candace Owens ha accusato:

"Il leader della setta evangelica nordcoreana Sun Myung Moon ha assistito la CIA nei suoi cosiddetti sforzi 'anticomunisti'" durante lo scandalo Iran-Contra in America Centrale," e che il Padre "ha tratto profitto" da questo coinvolgimento.

Ha poi citato un "fantastico articolo" del Washington Post del 1997 "che analizzava quello che potrebbe essere conosciuto come il culto di Moon". Di seguito una lettera scritta da Shin Joon Moon, terzo figlio di Hyung Jin Nim e Yeonah Nim.

Lettera di Shin Joon Moon a Candace Owens

Ciao Candace,

Non mi aspettavo di sentire menzionata la mia chiesa nella tua diretta streaming di venerdì (9/1/26)! Voglio solo dire innanzitutto che rispettiamo e apprezziamo sinceramente i tuoi sforzi nel discutere di questioni importanti del nostro tempo. Ho pregato sinceramente per la tua protezione e sicurezza, soprattutto durante l'ultimo anno. Detto questo, vorrei rispondere ai tuoi commenti sulla nostra fede.

Prima di tutto, voglio riconoscere per quali motivi hai improvvisamente coperto il padre Sun Myung Moon durante la tua indagine in corso. Comprendo che vuoi attaccare il credo di “Turning Point” associandola a qualcosa che è considerato "settario".

Sebbene comprenda che questa sia una tattica efficace per sminuirne la credibilità, in quanto Unificazionista mi sento in dovere di rispondere ad alcune delle affermazioni/implicazioni sulla nostra chiesa.

Perché mio nonno (Sun Myung Moon) negli anni '80 fornì supporto non letale ai ribelli anticomunisti che combattevano contro il governo sandinista filosovietico in Nicaragua? Perché comprendeva la natura orribile del comunismo, essendo stato imprigionato e torturato in un campo di sterminio nordcoreano per quasi tre anni. Lui e molti altri coreani furono liberati quando le forze dell'ONU (in gran parte americane), sotto la guida del generale Douglas MacArthur, bombardarono la fabbrica di fertilizzanti dove i prigionieri venivano sfruttati fino alla morte. Padre Moon esprimeva spesso gratitudine all'America per aver salvato il suo paese dal totalitarismo.

Quindi sì, grazie alle sue esperienze dirette, mio ​​nonno non voleva vedere la tirannia comunista diffondersi nell'emisfero occidentale. Ecco perché donò aiuti umanitari come cibo, vestiti e altri aiuti non letali alle famiglie dei ribelli anticomunisti dei Contras. Questo è qualcosa di cui siamo orgogliosi.

Padre Moon investì ingenti risorse in America provenienti da membri della Chiesa in Giappone e Corea, perché comprendeva che ciò che accade in America ha ripercussioni sul mondo intero. Era seriamente preoccupato per il declino del cristianesimo e la diffusione dell'immoralità tra i giovani americani. Credeva che il fondamento di una società sana fosse il suo fondamento spirituale. Dopotutto, la Dichiarazione d'Indipendenza degli Stati Uniti parla di "diritti dati da Dio".

Riguardo alle conferenze scientifiche, Padre Moon credeva che una visione materialistica del mondo stesse corrodendo i fondamenti cristiani dell'Occidente. Cercò di avviare un dialogo serio tra scienziati, credenti e studiosi per riconoscere la centralità dei valori morali e spirituali nella risoluzione dei problemi reali della nostra società. L'indottrinamento dei nostri figli da parte delle istituzioni educative americane, secondo cui gli esseri umani siano il risultato di forze casuali, senza scopo e materialistiche, danneggia seriamente la vita spirituale di molti giovani e mina le basi dei nostri diritti.

Che si trattasse di sponsorizzare conferenze scientifiche, organizzazioni culturali, educazione anticomunista o istituzioni cristiane, si sforzò di rivitalizzare la cultura americana originaria incentrata su Dio.

Anche mio nonno credeva che i leader religiosi dovessero compiere ogni sforzo per guidare il mondo verso l'unità e la pace. Dato che molti conflitti hanno origini religiose, ignorare queste radici ha condannato molti sforzi di pace al fallimento.

Si è opposto con veemenza a praticamente tutte le guerre in Medio Oriente, cosa che il suo erede designato continua a fare. Nei suoi incontri con diversi presidenti come Bush Sr., Padre Moon lo avvertì esplicitamente che il coinvolgimento degli Stati Uniti in tali iniziative avrebbe potuto ritorcersi contro di lui e portare a ulteriori sofferenze.

A partire dal 2003, Padre Moon ha investito ingenti risorse nella “Middle East Peace Initiative” per riunire leader ebrei, cristiani e musulmani in un reciproco pentimento. In risposta, migliaia di sacerdoti cristiani si sono recati in Terra Santa per incontrare sacerdoti ebrei e musulmani e pregare insieme per la pace. Il 16 maggio 2003, i rabbini israeliani firmarono la "Dichiarazione di Gerusalemme", in cui si pentirono della crocifissione dell'"innocente giovane ebreo Yeshua, che Dio amava e... [che] "fu tradito dai ricchi e dai potenti del suo stesso popolo". Gli sforzi di Padre Moon in Medio Oriente culminarono il 22 dicembre 2003, quando i leader religiosi, tra cui rabbini ebrei e imam musulmani, si unirono per incoronare Gesù Cristo Re.

Questi eventi riflettono la nostra teologia, che afferma chiaramente che il popolo ebraico del I secolo (soprattutto i leader) avrebbe dovuto ascoltare gli appelli di Cristo "a credere in colui che Dio ha mandato" (Giovanni 6:28-29) e non crocifiggere il loro Re.

Se siete interessati a saperne di più sui successi, il ministero e gli insegnamenti di Padre Moon, potete trovare informazioni utili su www.2ndadvent.org. Potete anche guardare i miei video sulle nostre credenze, disponibili su www.youtube.com/@The_Advent_c2.

Come ben sapete, la ricerca della verità è spesso difficile. Mio nonno, Sun Myung Moon, è stato spesso travisato. Merita un'analisi più approfondita.

Cordiali saluti,

Shin Hoon Moon

Altro:

Link alla Newsletter in Inglese

Buona continuazione :)

Ramdane

Men Listen To Numbers

Men Listen To Numbers

When a woman talks about love, for men is like speaking Chinese; no one understands that. You don't know what the heck's going on with that. If you want to be clear with your husband, you have to speak very clearly. You must use what? You must use numbers. Women, you never use numbers. You say: "I don't feel loved". There's no number there. You say: "I don't feel understood". I didn't hear a number.

"Why don't you speak to me"? I didn't hear no number. You see what I'm saying? That's the problem. You women are used to talking to women. That's anxious personality. You can speak in generalities, and the anxious spine will understand what you're saying. But avoidant male, no. Avoidant male is training himself to put away emotion, and get goals done; count how many heads he has mounted on his hunting cabin. We want to know how many degrees, how many azimuths I have. Do you understand? You have to speak in numbers. So, you're mysterious. You never talk language. Think of it as Chinese. He won't understand a word; and that will make no sense to him. What you have to say is, okay, three things. You want to change your man. You guys have that slide with talking to the husband?

Very important, Number one, you want to speak effectively with your husband and change his behavior. Because actually, guess what? He loves you. He actually wants to succeed, ok? 

Number one,

Don't cry. Do not cry. A lot of women try to weaponize crying to win arguments and to control and manipulate their husband. Their mom maybe has done that to them. So, when a man sees a woman cry in the West, you basically have to lose. If you don't lose, you're a bad person. You don't care about protecting women (they will think of you like that), so do not cry. Do not cry. Don't send his spine into red mode. Don't cry. Don't cry.  Okay? Write down what you want to say before you talk to him.

Act professionally with your husband in problem solving

We're going to give an example really quick, and then you have to set your time. Okay? So, you have to see it like this. This is your example: Your husband is the head of the house, as God has ordained your husband. He's like the CEO of the company. He's like the CEO. He has the final say and the final decision.

Now the wife is not his employee. This is where the men get it twisted. The wife is not the employee, nor is she the customer. The wife is the VP of operations. So, she is in the executive branch. You understand? You are in the executive branch, but you are not the CEO. You understand? So, you can't act like the CEO and command him and tell him what to do.

There is no VP of operations in the world that says, “Mr. President,” okay, let’s say it is the CEO, “I need to have a meeting with you. Would Wednesday 7 pm be okay? Fine, good, good, yes, yes, yes, blah, blah, blah”. The VP of operations goes in. “Sir, why don't we ever talk (lamenting)”, or “you never say anything to encourage me.” No VP in the history of mankind would ever behave like that, but how many women behave like that to their husband?

You're going to destroy the enterprise that you are building together. You understand what I'm saying? You have to act professionally. When you are problem solving, you must behave professionally. The more professional you behave, the more the man is going to respect you as an executive partner. The more respect you get. Guess what? He wants to talk to you more. He's going to want to hear your opinion. 

But if you're the VP of operations and you say, “I need a meeting with you”, and you come in and you say, “why don't we ever talk? You always do this and that. And last week, when your mother-in-law was in here…” Oh my God! What is this about? There's no VP of operations that goes to the meeting without preparation. Take notes and know exactly what you want to talk to Mr. President about. Amen? 

You’ve got to know what you want to talk about. Don't get sidelined to grandma and the mother-in–law, and how he hurt you 30 years ago because, he said that blouse makes you look fat. Oh my, ridiculous, right? You’ve got to stay focused. Don't cry. Do not cry. Act professional. Write it down. Prepare for the meeting. And then you have to respect his time.

When you are problem solving, both of your spine is in stress mode. You understand? Both your spines are red. So, you have to do this well. If you do this well, your spines are going to produce tremendous vasopressin. What will actually produce the most vasopressin, is problem solving together. If you do this skill well as a husband and wife, you're on the way to huge, huge money, big money. Big God money, big money.

Dopamine addicts can't even understand that kind of money, okay? So, it's very important we succeed on the problem-solving training. In order to do that, especially when you're dealing with your man, if you said 15 minutes, you must finish 14 minutes and 59 seconds or earlier. Never, never go over 15 minutes. Never! Finishing early, you get more points. More money! You finish later, no money. Debt, debt, debt, right? So many couples do this terribly, “I just want to talk (lamenting)”.

Husband, when you're young and you're hot, you’ll be, “Okay, all right, let's hear about it. Okay, honey.” You'll sit there for an hour and a half or two hours, because you're still cute. When you start sagging and dragging and lagging, now you don't have that power anymore. That's why we always tell the young girls, “Don't weaponize your sexual power now. Don't act foolish, right? Just because you're cute now, don't try to weaponize it to control and dominate and manipulate your husband now.”

Because you're not always going to be cute. When you start sagging and dragging and lagging, you don’t have that power anymore. You see what I'm saying? So, we don't want to make that bad habit early. A lot of girls do that when they're early, when they're pretty. But as they get older, they're like, “How come it doesn't work anymore?” Well, because you're sagging and nagging and dragging and lagging. You're not treating him with the proper respect. So don't cry. Write down what you want to say. Set your time. This is how a VP of operations deals with a president. A successful partner, an executive partner, is going to think that she wants the president to succeed. We want the company to succeed. I'm going to go in there.

Obviously, they're not going to cry. Obviously, right? They're absolutely not going to cry. They're going to try to address the problems, one, two, three. “Mr. President, in operations, we have this, this, this issue. In tech and finance, I know that's the other VP. But in operations, we have this one, two, three issue. And I'd like to talk to you about that, pick your brain about that and see what we want to do”. And then set your time. 15 minutes means 15 minutes, 14:59, or less. 

The more you do this pattern, the more of what are you building with your man? Trust. Not the feeling of trust, not the thought of trust, but what? The what? The hormone of trust. The actual substance, the hormone, is coming out of the spine. And it's filling your bloodstream. So, your bloodstream is starting to believe and trust; the more you succeed in problem solving together, okay?

Now, do you have to constantly live in this? 

No, of course not. Only when you're problem solving, go into executive problem-solving function. When you don't have problems to solve, you can be yourself; you can be your cute self. You can be your playful self. Blah, blah, blah. Just have fun. You can do, it's great. But when you start butting heads, immediately go into professional executive management training. Immediately, right? Fun, dating, teenage love mode off. Executive brain on, right? The more you do this with your man, the more vaso you're going to produce together and the more he's gonna trust you. Actually, when you're problem-solving like this together, the most vasopressin you'll produce.

Remember the example of the mice with the vaso? All of a sudden, he wants to stay with one woman. Now, all of a sudden, that secretary doesn't look so cute anymore. Why? Because he's problem solving with his VP. He's getting it done with his VP. She's killing it. She's on his team. She respects him. She respects  his time. She prepares for the meetings. She's on his team. This woman is clearly better than secretary or the whore down the street. You see what I'm saying, folks?

Now, with the Oxytocin bonding, it's very important. Because men's language is what kind of language, sisters? What kind of language? No, no, no. What kind of language we’ve got to use? Yes, yes. Say that again? Yes. You’ve got to use what? Numbers, right? So, for example,  don't say, “I don't feel like we're connecting. I don't feel loved.” There was no number there, okay? 

You have to say, for example: 

“Honey,” let's say you have a meeting with your husband; “7 o 'clock, Wednesday, okay, let's meet, no crying.” “Honey, I want to be the best wife for you as a husband. I want you to succeed as a husband. I want to be your helpmate. I want to succeed as being the best wife possible to making the most peace possible when you're home. To do that, I need three things." Here's where the numbers come.

"Number one, I need to talk with you for 15 to 20 minutes per day, every day, to just work through what I've been going through during the day. You don't have to solve any of the problems. All I need is somebody to decompress with by talking. So, I need 15 to 20 minutes, and that will allow me to produce a much more peaceful environment where you can recover and relax. But I need that 15 minutes.” 

Did you hear a number in there? Men, does that make more sense? Does that sound like Chinese? No! When you say, “I need more love,” how much are we talking here? How many minutes are we talking per day? Because I can't do two, three hours a day, honey, okay?

So, you have to be clear, reasonable. And it shows, the studies show that women need about 15 to 20 minutes per day to calm down the spine, basically. 15, 20 minutes. Now, if you promise 15, 20 minutes, and the husband's like, “Okay, babe, it's 20 minutes,” let him go. You can't get angry; you gotta let him go, right? And pick it up tomorrow. But you gotta be clear. 15, 20 minutes. I need that”. And pick it up tomorrow. You gotta be clear.

Being clear about your needs from your husband using numbers

Number two: “15, 20 minutes. I need that in order for me to function as the most effective wife to support you, and to produce an environment of peace where you can relax, heal and recover from the wars that you have to fight for us. And we're very grateful for that.” 

Always put in the gratitude. You hear me put in the gratitude at the end there, right? We're grateful for the wars you fight for us. Uh-huh. Yeah. Give that man some credit. And then, “but I need to do a date with you. I need to do that date. You know how Pastor’s always talking about that weekly date? We’ve got to do the spousal date training? We’ve got to do that date training. 

"Because I'm stuck in the home. I want to have fun. I want to go out, but I don't want to go out with other girls where guys are hitting on us. And I don't want to go out with other guys, obviously, because I honor you as my husband, and I respect you. So, I want to go out with you. So, I need a date. Let's go to a restaurant. Let's have a little coffee, a little dessert. Let's have a great night, just once a week.” Did you hear a number there? Yes, you heard a number. Does that sound like Chinese? No. You see what I'm saying?

And if you have children, for their future, so that they also can succeed in their blessed marriages and families and create these real powerful God–centered families that kill Satan, we’ve got to do their one-on-one days. So, let's do a one-on-one day with each child. Once a week, just once a week with one child. One meal, one appointment with one of the children at McDonald's or wherever it is. One date with one child per week. Not every day. Once a week, it's a one-on-one day with one child. Then next week, it's the second child. Next week, third child, right? So, it's one appointment that he is doing for his future generations. He's investing in his seed, in his lineage. So that's a plus to him, right?

And then the 15 minutes are up. You talk to your numbers. You talk one, two, three. 15 minutes are done. Leave the meeting. “Thank you for hearing me out. And if you ever need anything from me, let me know.” That's it. Finish the meeting. Don't extend it to 20, 30, 40, 50 minutes. Don't constantly try to read his emotions. He doesn't have any. He does, he actually does, but we don't show it. We don't show it until we trust you. Until we trust you, until you open the vaso flower first. If you open the vaso flower and you gain our trust, we're going to open the oxy flower. But if you try to go to oxy flower first, no, no, no. Nobody's getting in there. Are you with me, folks? Isn't this pretty clear? This is pretty clear. This is very clear. If you understand the God science; you can understand, wow, how many families, marriages break down because they don't understand the God science.

(Go back to the hormone and the heart, tech team).

When you’ve got the high oxy God money, and you’ve got the high vasopressin God money, or heaven's treasure money, when you’ve got these high, guess what? Your body also produces HGH, (Human Growth Hormone). Do you know what? You build muscle faster. Did you know that? When you have high vaso and oxy production, you have more HGH. So, what does that mean? Not only you build muscle fast, your man gets more muscle, become more sexy, more ripped, but also your man heals faster. Human growth hormone also is dealing with how fast you heal injuries.

Spine cannot differentiate between emotional and physical injury

And guess what? This is the crazy thing. Guess what? Your spine cannot tell the difference between a physical injury and an emotional injury. Oh my gosh. Isn't that incredible? Your spine can't tell the difference. The spine cannot tell the difference between a physical injury and an emotional injury. Emotional Damage! Remember this one? Yeah. 

So, when you have more HGH, you heal faster. Both the physical injuries and the Emotional Damage get healed faster too. Oh my gosh, isn't that incredible? And then if you have high vaso and oxy, you’ve got HGH, you also get more serotonin. Serotonin production is what? Happiness. You feel happy in this marriage.

I know you all dopamine addicts can't believe me right now. I understand. Because y 'all have only got the short hormone. You’ve got the short drug right now. You can't understand the high stuff. Okay, higher level stuff. But you get the serotonin, which is the happiness. You also get the GABA, which is the Gamma Amino Butyric Acid. Say that fast three times. The Gamma Amino Butyric Acid. What does that do? That blocks cortisol. 

It blocks you from being stressed more. So, when you’ve got high oxy and vaso, you block stress more. It's like, the duck with the water on the back, it just drops away fast; that's the GABA, Gamma Amino Butyric Acid. How crazy is that? So not only you recover faster with the HGH, you also don't get injured as much because you're blocking the stress with the GABA, the Gamma Amino Butyric Acid. How crazy is that? And then, if you're having the high vaso, high oxy, and you're having the absolute sex as husband and wife, you're having a great sex life.

We're going to get into that a little more. If you want to hear more about that, don't raise your hand. Now you can raise your hand. OK. How to have a next level sex life, not just the animal sex that the free sex dopa addicts do. You're talking about the way God and Adam and Eve were to have the sexual relation, have unbelievable bonding. But you create the prolactin, which is the sense of ultimate satisfaction. So, as you can see, when you're training in the Vaso, heaven treasure, God money, and oxy, heaven treasure, God money, that the insects cannot bite, they cannot chew, and the thief cannot steal. Your relationship is like bling, bling, bling.

Get to the video

The Avoidant Male

The Avoidant Male

2nd King, Hyung Jin Moon, from “God’s Money" Sunday service, Tennessee USA, 2025.11.25

Now, it’s very important to understand: how did God make male and female different? This is what's so unbelievable. God gave man more receptors. What type of receptors? Vasopressin receptors. Men, we have more vasopressin receptors. We have more vasopressin receptors.

Now, let me ask you a question. “What did God give woman?” He gave more receptors of what? Oxytocin. Oxytocin. Women have more receptors of oxytocin. So when a woman has oxytocin bonding with her husband, she can feel deeply loved, desired, wanted, etc. All she ever wanted. She feels the deepest connection. She feels the deepest empathy, the deepest love. And all the men say, “That's not possible. Not possible. All I know is money. All I know is money. Money buys the whole.” No, no, no. That's an avoidant male. The avoidant male has been abused a lot, okay? The avoidant male has been taught, “You must always push back any emotion, any talking; kill it.” And men need this, because we go to war and we catch big animals. So, it's actually a necessary training. However, because we cut off, it's very hard to bond oxytocin. In fact, this is incredible. 

Let's talk about it like flowers. Oxytocin receptors are like flowers. If the vasopressin flowers are not opened first in the male, oxytocin flowers remain closed. Unbelievable! So, there's a problem. When the woman says, “I want to share with you; I don't feel you love me anymore,” the man doesn't know what the heck you’re talking about. You're speaking French. You're speaking Chinese. You're speaking another language. He doesn't know what you're saying. He cannot understand. That's Chinese. Literally, that's... (Speaking Chinese) He doesn't know what you're saying. He can't understand what is going on with this crazy person. Why?

Because the avoidant personality has to solve problems alone. In any relationships of love that he’s ever experienced he also cannot ask for help. Because, if he asks for help, the parents say, “Hey, you stupid idiot, you can't even do that, you dumb.” Or the mom says, “Hey! You can't even do that. How are you gonna be a man? Did you do your homework?” Then the boy learns what? He learns, “Okay, I gotta get this done alone.” He's like, “Uh, okay. Let's try to get this done alone.” So, the avoidant male personality does not have love relationships or a lot of trusting relationships. He learns, “I got to get this done on my own. I can't trust anybody to get the job done. I got to trust myself. I got to get it done myself. If I ask this person, they're going to dump on me. If I ask this person, they're going to be angry. I need to get this done alone.” 

So, one of the key characteristics of the avoidant personality is what? They don't have Oxytocin bonding with anybody. They don't have Vasopressin bonding with anybody, because they've got to get stuff done alone. They've got to be the one who solves the problem. So, what hormone is left? Dopa. Dopamine. This was amazing: all the characteristics you women love about men, like they're out there, they're getting the job done, they're bringing back the money, they provide, big mansion, big car, all this stuff you like. Guess what? An avoidant man is going to produce that for you. Why? Because he can push all his feelings aside, all his complaints aside. He can go and catch big money and bring it back to you. But what he can't do is bond with you. He doesn't know how to bond with you.

So, you have a lot of rich girls that say, “Man go get the bread, make the money!” And he gets a dopamine high when he makes that money and brings it home. He gets a dopamine high. So, he's getting rewarded for that. But then the wife is at home, and she's living in the mansion, she's got the ten beamers, she's got the frickin' Maserati, whatever it is. But she's still not happy. “I do everything for you and you're still not happy!” Why? Why is that? That's because material items can only give you temporary what? Dopa. Material items cannot make your body or spine produce the hormones God gave you like oxytocin; they cannot produce it for you. Material items and big cars and mansions and hot tubs and private planes, blah blah blah, cannot produce vasopressin for you. So, you see all those rich women that got husbands that are making so much money, they're miserable, miserable. They have every luxury, every joy, but they're miserable. Why? Their spine only has dopamine. Look how short, look how uncomplicated that hormone is. It's not great.

Safety vs. Peace

Our blessed families should not focus on this hormone. (Showing dopamine) That is not the hormone. We need to focus on these hormones: vasopressin, oxytocin. Women, with your husband, do not focus on building oxytocin with him. You will wreck your marriage. He's not a WOMAN! His spine is not a nervous spine, predominantly. His spine is avoidant, not anxious. For the anxious women, the most important thing for them in a relationship is to feel connection and safety. Women, do you like to feel safe in your relationships? Okay. Safety is very important. For men, safety is… COWARDICE! Coward. Only cowards pursue safety. Why? 

If we have a circle here, the men have to face outside and face the danger in order to keep you safe in this circle, okay? The men have to face outside and see the marauders or the beasts coming. We have to face outside. If we choose safety, we're going to be in here with you. Saying, “Oh, come on, get that beast. Go, go, go, team.” What do we call that? COWARD! So, men do not want safety in marriage. This is what the women don't understand. The women's spines do not understand this. Men do not want safety in a relationship. It's actually a very dangerous thing, and it makes our spine very dangerous and stressed. We do not want safety.

Men want what? Peace, peace, peace. Men want peace. Peace is very different. Peace is like: here's a circle with my kids, my wife, all the women and children in the village, and all the men, we're facing out. We go out, fight, fight, fight, and come back in. We go, fight, fight, fight, again and come back in. When we come home, we don't want to hear, “How come you're home so late, Dad?” “Bro, bro, I just fought TEN MEN!” You understand? We want to come home and, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, come in, come in, baby. My husband, come in, come in. I have the hot bath going already. Come, come, come. Let me scrub you down. Jeez, you got blood all over, golly. Dang, you’re a warrior. Man, you’re a warrior. Let me scrub you down. Let me love you up a little bit.” Now that man's getting some healing. The modern man is not a warrior in that sense. He's not fighting wars. But he's doing business; he's making money, right? To his spine, not to his brain or to his heart, to his spine, he's going to war. Every day he goes to make money, that man is going to war. His brain doesn't think that. His heart doesn't feel that. It's his spine that feels that. You understand?

From Red to Blue Spine

So, when that man goes out to work, the spine is saying, “You're going to war, war, war, war.” The spine is turning red. Red, red, red, red. Now he has to go out and compete against 10 men, 50 men, whatever the case may be, and outperform. He has to make results, blah, blah, blah. The spine is going red, red, red. All day, the man’s spine is red, red, red, red, red, red. Fight or fight, fight or fight; red, red. Digest and shut up. Digest and shut up. Get a quick bite. Fight, fight, fight, fight. Now he comes home hurt, beaten, bruised, and torn.

But you've been anxious at home; you're a tribe and the wife has been anxious because she's nervous. Now, pre -industrial revolution, she could connect with grandma, auntie, niece, female cousin, sister, blah, blah, blah. She has so many other females to connect with during the day to calm the red to the blue. Does that make sense? So, she'd get nervous: “Oh, my gosh. What if my husband dies today? Oh, my gosh. Grandma, what if?” “Oh, don't. Come here, baby. Come here. You know, I used to feel that way, too when Grandpa went out.” See, already her spine is turning blue. Just because she came into contact with Grandma's spine. Y 'all understand this? The spines are talking, not the brains or the hearts. The spines are talking. Isn't that incredible?

In the tribal model, the husband is out and many times, if it's a campaign, he's out for months. But the wife has got all these other women's spines to communicate with. When she feels stress, “Oh my, I can't take it. I'm so lonely. Whom do I talk to? “Well, auntie lives right next door. Auntie also is nervous, so she wants to talk too. Do you

understand? Grandma also is nervous, so she understands. She's less nervous because she's trained now in the decades. But she now knows the young girl's coming up, “All right, baby, you come talk to Grandma.” You understand what I'm saying? That's the spine. The spine is healing the spine. You see that?

But now the modern woman has nobody; no grandma, mom, no aunties, no cousins, no nieces, no sisters living with them. They're alone in a suburban area with a big house, white picket fence, and an Audi SUV in the driveway. And they're going crazy because Mr. Audi is not going to help you when your spine is red. Are you with me, folks? ONLY Grandma can do it; ONLY Auntie can do it. See, the material item cannot turn the spine blue. Uh -oh, you see that? That's the God money. We were talking about the God money. The Bible says, “Store your treasures in heaven. The treasures which the insect cannot devour and the thief cannot steal.” A thief can steal your Audi. An insect can eat the leather in the car at some point, or the rust, whatever. But those material items cannot give the peace or the safety. You see what I'm saying?

The God Money Hormones

ONLY relationship can do that. Only relationships can do that. Only relationships can produce the God money. The God money is the money or the treasure that the insect cannot eat and the thief cannot steal. So, in the relationship, that's the only place where, if it is done well, the spine can produce the hormones God made. This is the God money. The God money hormones in Chinese are called tianqian. The heaven money hormones are the oxytocin and the vaso.

Now, this drives women crazy. “This man is INSANE! I can't understand that! He's fixing his motorcycle and he always wants me to sit and watch him! Oh my God!” You don't understand what's happening. That girl doesn’t understand anything about the male. Let's say he's fixing the air conditioning, why does he want to have you watch him do that? It's not because he's some kind of sick pervert, that is thinking like you're looking at his booty or something like that. NO! No, no. Why does your husband want you to watch him fix that air conditioning machine or that lawnmower or that bike? “Hey baby, come here, come here. I got to show you something. I’m going to go on this bike a little bit. I'm going to fire it up.” 

The girl's like, “Okay, thank you. I was in the middle of something. I’m doing my nails.” Do you understand? There's a problem. Your nails aren’t going to give you the attention. The nails won't give you the God money. Only your husband can give you. But why do the males want to do that? See, if the women, -you know this is such a big hack- when your man is fixing a bike, doing that, if you just sit there and you watch him saying, “Wow, I didn't know you could do that. That's quite amazing. Dang! My man is capable.” Right now, his spine is going, “WHAHHH!” You understand? His spine is on fire. What is his spine producing? It's producing vasopressin. Why? What is vasopressin? This is when you do something together and fulfill a goal.

It's like hunting, right? It's like hunting together. You don't have to know anything about the motorcycle or the air conditioner. But if you just sit there and you say, “Oh my gosh, I don't even have to waste $300. My man knows how to fix that complicated air conditioner.” WHAHHH! He's getting a giant vasopressin. What is that doing? What is he saying? “We got this done, baby. We got this done. We fixed this bike up well, baby.” Just tricked his spine. You don't have to know anything about the dang motorcycle or the air con. You just have to sit there and say, “Wow, that's amazing!” And then the spine believes that you did it together. The spine believes you did it together, and you accomplished the task together.

So, what happened? Then the man develops vasopressin. What is that? That's the trusting hormone. Then he says, “Man, we got that done. Good. I can trust this girl a little more.” And then if you go out of your comfort zone, why did that man want to go camping with you? Or he wants to go fishing, but he doesn’t want to fight on the boat. He wants it quiet. He doesn’t want to talk.

Poison Hormone

If your marriage is wrecked, it's not about what you want now. You now have to start sacrificing and training. It’s not about what you want. If you want to fix this, you got to start investing in the vasopressin training. That means go fishing with him. Shut! Control, control, control the mouth. Don't give him stress. You got a great resource called YouTube. If your worm falls off the hook, just look it up. How do you put it back on? Don't say, “There's no worm on the hook anymore. Oh, man, I don’t know why we have to be here. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” NO! You're not turning on vasopressin. You're turning on CORTISOL. Stress, stress, stress. See, when you turn on the stress, you're giving him different hormones called cortisol. When the cortisol comes out, it shuts down the what? Digestion. Which shuts down the what? Immune system. Which makes him what? Sicker.

So, couples that fight a lot you will die on average ten years early. Sorry, I don't care if you tried a red ginseng diet, you gonna die early because you're fighting too much. You have bad hormones. You're poisoning your well. You understand what I am saying? I don't care what your diet is; you're producing the wrong hormone So, on average ten years will be stripped from your life. And also, you'll live that life with more chronic illness, disease, cancer, diabetes, heart attacks, inflammation. Congratulations. All because why? The hormone being produced is distress hormone. You're shutting your immune system down. That's why you're getting sicker. That's why you're looking older. It’s normal to get older, but it shouldn't be that quick, right? In the West everybody around thirty years old looks like Grandma, looks like you're eighty. What is going on? Too much bad, bad poison hormone is in your body.

So, it's the same thing. When you go fishing and you're trying to build back the marriage, women, you have to focus on vasopressin. Do not demand oxytocin. Do not demand, “I don't feel loved. I want to talk. I want to share. I want to know how you feel.” His spine is going, “Red alert, red alert, red alert; cortisol, cortisol, cortisol.” Why? Because whenever mom said that to him, he was in trouble. Whenever it's, “Honey, we need to talk.” Oh, sheesh, what did I do, daggone it?” Is that how that works? So, y 'all can't approach it from that angle. Don't do that. You're going to wreck it, OK? You're turning on his red alert system, which was put in there a long time ago. So, we can’t.

No Investment in Dopamine

When we're trying to build back marriages, focus on the husband; you gotta focus on winning victories with your husband, with the vasopressin money, heaven money, okay? Produce more vasopressin together. Did you know that for long -term relationship, the most important indicator is vasopressin? More than oxytocin, women, did you know that? More important for long -term relationship, the best predictor, hormonally, is vasopressin. Why? Because it is the trust hormone that God made. It's God made money. Y 'all like money, right? This is God money. Maybe not as much as the Chinese. But you know what I'm saying, right? This is the treasure of heaven.

So, if your marriage is wrecked, if both of you have just a tiny bit of faith as small as a mustard seed – which is tiny- but if you want to fix it, you can turn it around. You can turn it, but you have to know where to put the energy, put the investment. Don't put the investment in dopamine. Man, you got the 60 -year -old grandma saying, “Baby, I gotta get my man back. So, I got the double Ds”. Are you retarded? Do you understand how crazy that is? Why did you get your boobs done? That's a woman who doesn't understand any of this. She only understands what? What does she understand? Dopamine. She thinks at 60-year-old if she got her boobs done, her man is gonna see that and go, “Whoa! Dopamine hit. I want you.” That’s absolutely wrong.

Build Vasopressin Hormone

What you have to do, Grandma, it's not the double -D cup. What you have to do Grandma, is vasopressin training. That's what you gotta do; build trust hormone. Go with your husband hiking. But guess what? Tell him you want to go hiking. And before you go hiking, prep yourself. Talk to yourself in the mirror, “We're not going to complain, honey. Margaret, we're not going to complain.” Talk to yourself. Prep yourself. Do it three days out, “Margaret, you know what we're going to do, right? We're not going to complain.” We're going to give him what? What does a man want? Safety? No. What does a man want? Peace! When he's out camping, what does he want? Peace! So, when you go camping with him, try to give him? Peace! Now, you got money. That’s God money. 

Now you're filling the bank account with money. See, this is very important. What vasopressin does is incredible. It does take time. If you wrecked it for twenty years, it's not going to happen overnight, OK? We've got to recover this. It's going to take time. So, we do the vasopressin training when he's tinkering on the bike. Go sit and encourage and thank. When he's tinkering on the air con, “It's so refreshing. We don't understand how blessed we are to have the air con. Blah, blah, blah.” You're encouraging, thanking. Vasopressin.

“We are fixing this together. I'm feeling great. She's acknowledging me, my abilities. And I got some big cojones.” He feels vasopressin power. Then you want to go hiking. You want to go camping. You want to go fishing. And guess what? “It’s the first time I went fishing, when this woman didn't nag the hell out of me, complaining about this weight or this thing. She didn't know how to do it. She didn't complain. I couldn't believe it.” You know, it's probably even better just to go and watch your phone all day. But don't complain. Then he'll be like, “Wow, that was phenomenal. That was a phenomenal trip. ” Why? Because a man is seeking what? Peace, peace. He's at war outside, you understand? He's at war. His spine is at war outside. When he comes home, he doesn't want another war.

But if the wife doesn't control her spine, she's going to be anxious. And if she doesn't have other women's spine to connect with, it's red. So, when he comes back, it's, “How come it took you so long. I thought you were going to be back five minutes ago. You're like two minutes late. How come you didn't answer my phone, my text message? I was texting you all day, honey. How come? Do I not matter to you?” “OH! Oh, you had to go to that level, huh? Okay, okay, you had to play that game now.” You see what I'm saying? 

So why the man all of a sudden is falling in love with the overweight secretary? Arnold Schwarzenegger, he's married to Maria Shriver Kennedy. Then on the side, he's banging his Mexican maid. And she wasn't any Mexican supermodel, folks. She was an old woman. You understand? Why does that happen? They just colloquially say, “Oh, he was thinking with his small brain, not his big brain”. No, no. Because Arnold is not able to find any bonding with that woman. So, then all of a sudden, the Mexican housewife or the secretary feels like, “They're so much more supportive, more encouraging. They listen to what I have to say. They want me to succeed, blah, blah, blah”. He bonds with her. You see what I'm saying? This is how it works, folks.

Vaso Training

That's why the hormone system is so important. Understand this is God system. And if you know this before marriage, it's even better. You see what I'm saying? So, women, we want to focus on vasopressin with your husband. Build back the trust. Build back the trust, not the feelings, not the thought of trust, but what? The hormone. Everybody, say, “Hormone.” (Hormone). Build the hormone.

Remember that mice experiment? When we change the hormone, the mice behavior immediately changes. Why is the man addicted to porn nowadays, even though he's got a wife? What is he seeking? Dopa. Why? Because he's not getting Vaso or Oxy from his wife. So, then porno is an easy swipe; you got the hottest chicks right in front of your freaking face. Then it gives you what? Dopa hit. But what can it not give you? It cannot give you what? Vaso. It cannot give you: “This person truly trusts me. This woman truly loves me unlike any other woman.” The porno girls can't give you that. Porno girls can only give you dopa crash, dopa crash, dopa crash, dopa crash. And it causes more depression.

Boys and men who are addicted to porno are more depressed. It saps your motivation, saps your energy, saps everything. Why? Because the porno girls, porno hoes cannot give you the vaso. They're trying to change that, trying to play on you. The Only Fans, they're trying to do like the live stream where they're talking to you and they're trying to stimulate you in relationship, but they can't. They only can give you dopa. You have to deal with Vaso.

So, if you have a problem with the husband, we want to focus on vaso bonding, vaso. That means what? Do small things together and get the goal done. Get a camping trip done with no fighting and have peace. Get a fishing trip done with no fighting, with peace. With peace. Get a sitting situation where you're just sitting and saying, “Wow, you know how to fix that car, honey!” What happens? “Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.” Right? Do get those small things. Then his spine is starting to say, “Wait a minute. This woman is acting weird.” At first it says, “What the hell is wrong with this woman right now? What is going on? Is she cheating on me? She's cheating on me. That's why she's trying to treat me all nice.” A lot of men do that. Did you know that? A lot of men assume that.

Because let's say twenty years she's been wrecking their marriage. Now she's trying to fix it. Because maybe she had a real conviction, maybe she heard something like this. The Holy Spirit convicted her heart. And now she's like, “Dang, I got to change it”. All of a sudden, now three months later, she's being accused, “You're cheating on me, aren’t you? How come you're treating me so nice?” A lot of women do this. Isn't that incredible? Don't do that. Don't do that, right?

Vaso training, vaso training, vaso training. What's going to happen? Your husband is not going to be like, “Oh my gosh, I'm so grateful that you're really pouring into me and you watch me when I fix the air con.” He’s not gonna say a dang word. He's just gonna be like, “Things are different. Something's weird.” So, you have to keep the training. Now, three months, six months, one year. If you wrecked it for twenty years, you've got to put out at least a year, two years, three years. Put the work in. Put the work in. But see, the good thing is you know where to put the work in.

Don't put it in here, (dopamine) don't get the double D cup. Don't put it here, (Oxytocin) trying to make him talk, “Let's have a conversation. We have to go see a therapist.” That's all going to make his spine red. “That's just talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. When are we going to produce some VASO, vaso, vaso?” Ah, see? “All you girls want to do is talk. When are we going to do something?” Right? So don't do that. Focus on the vaso money. Now you put in three months, six months, and all of a sudden, “Uh, you've been working hard on it. I appreciate you.” And he walks away. “That's it?” Don't say that. Don't say that. Just say, “Wow, you just had a massive victory”. You just went from a wrecked marriage to investing in vaso. You didn't even ask for it. You didn't demand talking. You didn't demand, “Open your dang oxytocin receptors, honey. Where's your flower? Open it.” You didn't do any of that craziness. You just poured in. You put in the work. Faith without works is dead, right? You can't just be spewing the Principle; put it to WORK, daggone it. You gotta apply the theology. Amen.

The Oxy Flower

You invested for six months. You never asked for it but all of a sudden out of the blue, he said, “I haven't told you, but I appreciate you.” That's it. That's it. Just right there. Right there. Don't ask for more. Just celebrate. Inside, say, “Yes!” Because what happened? What happened? Right there, what happened? You filled up his vaso tank, so now the Oxy flower is starting to bloom. It's starting to open. The oxy flower is starting to open. But don’t jump on it too quickly now. Be patient. When y 'all see the little buds, you don’t jump on it; you’re going to stomp that thing out. It's a small bud, you understand? you got to hold, hold, hold, hold, right? The bud comes in springtime. In the springtime comes a tiny bud. 

If you get too excited and you say, “Oh my gosh, look how beautiful you are. You're so beautiful,” oh, you're dead. Don't do that. When he says that, all you have to say inside, “Oh, the oxy flower is starting to open. I heard a preaching about this. The oxy flower is starting to open.” So just celebrate inside. Say, “Thank You, Lord. Thank You, Father. God, You just did a miracle. Our marriage was on the rocks, broken. Now the oxy flower is opening.” What does that mean? That means the vaso tank is getting full; his vasopressin receptors are getting full. 

So now the oxy flower is starting to open. Now what you wanted is starting to come, but you've got to be slow. You've got to be slow, slow, slow. “I heard the pastor tell he's gonna say ‘I appreciate you’.” You're waiting, you're waiting, you're waiting. And then the day comes, “I never told you. I appreciate you. I appreciate you. That's all I wanted to say.” And you're like, “Oh my gosh, it came, it came, it came. He said it. Tell me more. Come on! Tell me more, tell me more!” 

No, no. You got to calm, down. Your spine is now turning red with excitement. So, at that point, you gotta go, (breathing in and out) “Thank You Father! Thank You, God! Thank You Lord!”. Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe. Doing the breathing training is important because in the fight or flight system, your spine is connected to your breathing. When you see the tiger, you breathe heavily. So, if you don't control your breathing, you can't control your spine. You see what I'm saying? That's why you want to breathe deeper. “Thank You, Lord! Woo! Thank You, Lord! Woo! Thank You, Jesus! Woo!” Breathe, breathe, breathe. Don't go into a tiger mode. Stay calm.

And then, as you keep on investing in the vaso, now the oxy bud opens, and a little later, maybe another bud is starting to open. That tree is going to start flowering pretty soon. But it's like early spring. Don't push those buds too hard. Don't put a cold blast on them. The buds will all shrivel and die. Y 'all know the spring buds, right? Okay. Don't hit them with the winter blast. Don’t come out with the frost gun and go“Hey, little buds, let me flame through you”. Not a good idea. Okay. You want to slow that down. Slow it down.

You're going to see that especially after twenty years of fighting, your husband’s spine has now identified you as the threat. And you have with him, too. Your spine has identified him with the threat. So, this is what's incredible. Your body produces a hormone. It's a smell, it's called a pheromone. Cortisol produces a smell. You know how you say that animals can smell your fear? They literally can, because when you're scared, cortisol gets produced and the smell comes out. That's why an animal can actually sense your fear.

Now, you can't smell that smell. You can't tell if it’s strawberry or orange; it’s not like that. But your spine can smell it. So, if a husband and wife have a bad relationship for twenty years, you can even smell your husband and be like, “Ugh!” And as soon as you smell, immediately your spine turns. Why? Because that smell has become associated with the stress hormone, which is killing your immune system and making you die. You see what I'm saying? And he's the same with you. You don't smell so nice either, honey. You girls think you smell like caramel and soft cream and butterflies all day. Uh -uh! No. You don't smell so nice either? His spines see you as a threat too, so, you smell nasty to him. You see what I'm saying? Isn't that great? But you actually produce the pheromone. If you're producing a high oxy, high vaso, smelling your wife or smelling your husband makes you happy, younger, youthful. It's incredible, right? God's system is incredible. So, the hormones are that powerful.

Thanks to the European Sanctuary Team for transcribing this video into text

* The avoidant male Video clip here

* The complete Sunday Service video here